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I sat on my couch scrolling through Instagram when the words in the post featuring a photo of George Floyd shook me.

“Your silence is speaking louder than words.”

I shared the post and then continued scrolling. I didn’t like the idea of my silence making an impact but the words were from a random person on Instagram. They couldn’t be a common theme felt by many.

Then I switched over to FaceBook. I read a post by my childhood friend and my heart sank. Part of the post said:

“Your silence speaks volumes.”

My Introduction to Racial Injustice

Something inside of me was drawn to the plight of injustice at a young age. As a middle schooler, instead of going to concerts and having a pop star as a hero, I was reading books and my hero was Harriet Tubman.

I’m not kidding. I wasn’t reading Harry Potter, I was reading fiction narratives about the Civil War. From an early age, I felt a deep desire to help those in need and was convinced that if I had been alive during the Civil War that I would have made a difference. I had no idea I could be making a difference then. I had no idea that my voice could be used to fight the same injustice I was reading about in my books a few years down the road.

Maybe I was behind the curve, but my first introduction to hyper-media-sensationalized racial injustice was when Trayvon Martin was killed in Florida at the age of 17 at the beginning of 2012.

After that, it felt like the lid was thrown off and the conversation about racial injustice was everywhere. I followed the stories, watched the raw video footage, and felt sad. I reached out to a friend and asked how I could make a difference and was told to simply join the conversation. But I didn’t know how.

At first, I thought the narrative was biased and that things couldn’t be as bad as the news said for my black brothers and sisters. It was the twenty-first century! I didn’t want to believe that racism was as rampant as the news indicated. But the more reading I did, and the more influencers I respected in the black community spoke out, the more I realized I was wrong.

Just a Privileged White Girl

I knew early on in the modern fight for equality that I was a privileged white girl. Not only that, I’m blond and thin. Seriously stereotypical.

Until today, I’ve never imagined that my voice could mean anything.

But those posts I wrote about earlier? The ones about being silent? Those posts were directly pointed at the church, communities, and friends of the people who posted them. I read between the lines of their posts: Do you even see us? Why aren’t you saying something? Do I matter to you?

My eyes are welling with tears as I write this because: YES, I see you. I’m sorry I haven’t said anything until now. And YES, you matter so much to me.

How to Use Your Voice

My biggest hesitation in speaking up in the past is my lack of understanding and experience. I have no problem talking about mental health or my past with an eating disorder because I have experience with these things. I can speak from a place of authority and camaraderie.

But speaking about racial injustice? How do I even do that? How do I be sensitive about something I know nothing about firsthand?

I reached out to some friends because it was clear my sitting in the background was hurting more than it was helping. I couldn’t believe I’d come to a place where I was part of the problem and not the solution after spending my childhood wanting to help.

This is what I said to my friend Alex.

“I’m seeing more and more people say that silence speaks louder than words when it comes to racial injustice. Do you see that? I have a hard time saying anything because I know I’m just a privileged white girl. But I also don’t want to stay silent if it’s hurting the people I care for. I also don’t want to offend anyone. What do you think someone like me should do? Should say?”

Alex was the perfect person to contact because he jumped right in.

The minute you see yourself as unqualified, you feed the silence. Becuase most people think they have to either be black, have black close friends, or married one to be able to even say anything. Those who don’t have that feel like they can’t say anything. I believe if you’re burdened to you’re a step ahead.

You don’t need a stake in something to stand for something.

What should you say? Do? Anything that makes your voice louder than the actions of those who are working so hard to silence the conversation.

Alex D

I thanked him and went a step further. I asked if he had anything else I might find helpful. It would take pages of words to share everything he shared with me but here are a few quotes from him as takeaways.

-Get away from saying I don’t see color and get into I see you for who you are. Not what you’ve been made out to be.

-There’s not a massive hole in this society called racism. There are pockets of small holes in this country called racism. We all have the ability to fill it. As someone digs it deeper we can fill it with hope and awareness and acknowledgment.

-Treat every death the same. Treat every crime the same. Treat every victim the same. From there we can really move into change. Until we tip the scales back to equal, we will never see fairness, change and move forward.

Alex D

I’m not sure if my voice can make a difference. I’m not sure if this little post will do anything but make me feel better about speaking up about something I feel deeply about. But I can not be silent if my voice will at least affirm to my brothers and sisters that I see them.

To my black friends I’d like to say:

“I see you. I don’t understand everything you’re going through and I probably never will. But I want you to know that I love you and I want to stand with you in your pain and your questions. I want to be a person you know you can count on to speak up for you. I want you to know that I care. Please continue to educate me on how to better support and love you. “

To my white friends, I’d like to say:

“Start a dialogue. Most of the meat of this post is from my friend Alex. If you don’t have the perfect words, admit it, start a conversation, and talk to someone who does. Don’t be silent if your silence might hurt your friends.”

I’d like to end with one more quote from Alex and I’d like to thank him for his openness and vulnerability in speaking to me. Thank you, Alex, for giving me words to pass on to my little corner of the internet when my own experiences are lacking. Thank you for being a voice of compassion and change.

First we acknowledge it’s there. The inequality.

Then we acknowledge the gap between where it is and how far it is from even.

But with the same hand we have to lead from the front. Every time we react we’re already losing.

Evil, justice, love, and forgiveness must all converge at one point at the same time in the same moment for the change to be completed. That would take a Herculean effort. Maybe impossible. But that’s why things stay the way they are or get worse. We good people know it’s impossible and allow they to stay that way because it’s too hard. But evil doesn’t think that way. It goes to the ultimate depths with no chains and nothing holding it back. Well so too must we do what we can to get as close to impossible.

Some don’t have a platform to speak loudly. Theirs is much more local. Others is much more personal. Whatever it is, find it and use it. We all have our part to play.

Alex D

Thank you, Alex.

What about you? Are you being a voice against racial injustice? Do you have resources you can share with me or a friend that might help us better understand? If so, please share!