My heart beat hard in my chest as I waited to go on stage. I was only speaking to about a hundred students who I knew and cared about, but I was still nervous. When it was time, I took the mic and shared my story. There are many facets to my story, but the focus that night was on my testimony. Since I’ve been a Christian since I was under ten and a story about me praying to God in my bedroom at six-years-old would be short, I shared about how God showed up in my life in a very real way that made my faith personal. (You can read that story, here. Or my recovery story here.)
After I and another shared our stories, we broke into small groups. I sat in the sat in a circle with my high-school girls and we talked about how our testimonies (or stories) can impact those around us. It was from that discussion, and a social media post I did the next day, that inspired this post.
The real and raw truth that I shared that night in small group was this. . .
You don’t have to have an elaborate story about finding freedom from addiction, surviving abuse, or walking through a dark time to make a difference. Each one of us has an insight, a point of view, a sense of compassion that only we can share. Each of us is unique and each of our stories matters because God is the author of them.
Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.”
Psalms 139:16 (Emphasis mine)
If the main story of my life was about how I chose God as a six-year-old in my bedroom it would still be a valuable story because it’s my story. God can use all of our stories. Each of us has a different life experience which makes us unique in the way we connect with those around us. We each have wisdom from our lives that nobody else has the same slant on because we are the only ones who have taken the exact path we’ve traveled.
Me and my two sisters are a great example. We grew up in the same home yet we each have vastly different stories. I struggled with anorexia, depression, and self-harm, one of my sisters joined the military after high school and spent years living in Japan and Maryland. My second sister is a twenty-year-old single mother. The three of us share the same blood and grew up under the same roof yet we have vastly different stories. If you asked each of us the same question you’d get three different answers.
“But Shelbie, I have a boring story.”
Dear girl, there is no such thing as a boring story. I’m sure the story about how you rolled out of bed this morning could inspire someone who is in a season where it is difficult to do so. Boring stories do not exist.
“But Shelbie, er, my story is bad. You wouldn’t want to hear it.”
Girl, I doubt your story would surprise me. After being admitted to a psych ward for anorexia at the age of 15 and sending years reading stories about things like sex trafficking and abuse I doubt I’d be surprised. Heartbroken? Absolutely. Surprised? No. But here is the thing you need to understand. The very story that you think is so bad or so shameful is the exact story someone else needs to hear.
Life has taught me that when we share our stories it gives others permission to share theirs. Us sharing how we have come out of bad experiences or gave up a shameful addiction can give someone else the freedom to do the same. When we say, “me too,” we open the door for someone to walk through and maybe begin their own freedom story.
“But Shelbie, I’m living that hard story right now.”
Girl, God sees you right where you are. He loves you right where you are. Maybe you are not in a place where sharing your story is the healthiest idea and that’s okay! Know that you are loved, seek God, and seek the help of professionals, family, or friends who can help you with what you are going through. You don’t have to struggle alone. Someday your story could make a difference, but for now, focus on healing and press into God.
. . .the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of our God’s vengeance; to comfort all who mourn, to provide for those who mourn in Zion; to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, festive oil instead of mourning and splendid clothes instead of despair.
Isaiah 61:1-3 (Emphasis mine)
Dear girl, you matter so much in this world and your story matters. Whether it’s a warrior story like Deborah & Jael, (Judges 4-5) or a story about leaning into God like Mary listening at Jesus’ feet (Luke 10:38-42) you have a valid story. Each of us has been created with a purpose. We are all so much more than the self-doubt we carry. We are amazing and we all have a story.
Yes, you too.