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Yesterday the hubby and I went with some friends to their pool and had a sun-filled morning from which I am still recovering from a headache. (I guess you really can have too much fun.) While we were there we took several photos. My favorites were one with me holding my favorite 3-year-old girl in the world, and the second was of me and Mas (hubby) standing side by side by the beautiful blue poolside.

When we returned home and I could properly see my phone screen (don’t you just hate looking at your phone in the sun?) I debated posting the pictures to Instagram. I honestly loved both pictures and I thought I looked good in both, so why wouldn’t I want to show them off? But I hesitated and here is why…

Since reintroducing myself to Instagram over the last month or two I have found some AMAZING girls to follow who are all about body positivity from whom I enjoy reading their posts and being inspired. I’ve had some very cool girls follow me back which I think it awesome. I like looking at the posts of some of the girls who follow me to see if I want to return the favor, but I have been dismayed by what I’ve found on some of the feeds. Maybe dismayed is a strong word, disappointed might be better.

Some of these girls are body coaches or trying to promote body and self love, but when I scroll through some of their pictures I find a lot of “before” and “now” photos of their body toning or weight loss progress. They are very positive in their posts and I believe their intent is to encourage girls to love their bodies and find what makes them feel the best.

But why can’t we all be happy with the bodies we have instead of trying to change them?

Don’t get me wrong, I have been changing my exercise routine. My arms are probably as strong as my before mentioned favorite 3-year-old girl. I want to be more toned and be stronger BUT I also want to love and accept the body I am in regardless of what it looks like or my perceived “problem areas.”  I find the “progress” photos triggering and they plant seeds in my mind about if I look good enough or am fit enough. Looking at the pictures doesn’t make me feel good about myself. It might encourage me to work out more or be more disciplined, but it doesn’t feed the part of my soul that knows my body was originally created beautifully.

Again, don’t get me wrong. Some girls welcome the encouragement and these posts may help them. But for me personally, I find them saddening. I want to see more posts about body positivity and loving who you are and not only caring about what you look like. Trust me, I’m preaching to myself too. Knowing I was created beautifully by the God of the universe and believing it in the image-obsessed culture we live in is difficult, but I’m trying.

So, yesterday I sat on my couch and wondered if I should post the photos that showed off me in my bathing suit. Like I said, I thought I looked great, I wasn’t hesitating to publish the photo because I was ashamed or embarrassed by my appearance, but I wondered if I wanted everyone to see my body. Maybe some of that was me being self-conscious or modest, but I think a lot of it had to do with the pictures I have seen lately and how they affect me.

I don’t want to be a girl who another girl compares herself with and because of that comparison dislikes the skin she is in. 

Does this mean I vow NEVER to post a photo of myself in my bathing suit? No. Maybe it was the way the photo looked too that made me hesitant to post it. It was very flattering, but I didn’t want to “show off” myself. I considered only posting the photo with me and my favorite 3-year-old girl because I was holding her and her body covered most of mine, but I decided against it for the above mentioned reasons and some other personal ones that have nothing to do with me in my bathing suit.

I want to love my body NOW. I don’t want to be working out so I can achieve some measure of success by a “before” and “after” photo. If I do end up stronger or more toned–great–but I want to love my body every step of the way instead of only loving it when it’s reached a goal or looks “good enough.” I don’t like the “before” and “after” photos. I’m not looking to change myself. I’m striving to love myself and who I am right now whether I decide to go to the gym later today or eat handfuls of M&Ms. Neither option defines who I am. Only God can do that and according to Him. I am beautiful no mater what.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalms 139:13-16

This post is encouragement for me too. I won’t pretend to have it all together. My intention is to be real and hope that you can do the same.
Be real. Be you.
Because the real you is pretty awesome.