My view of myself is tainted like water streaked glass. The image is blurry and distorted, not the picture-perfect image I want to see when I look at myself. A dozen people could tell me I’m beautiful, but the very next day I could look in the mirror and see the opposite of the accolades I received the day before.
The reason this happens is because I can’t see myself the way others see me.
We each have a distinct lens through which we see the world, see ourselves. Many of us look through clear lenses when we see our friends and family, focusing on their strengths or attractiveness. But when it comes to looking at ourselves, our lenses are smudged and dirtied with our own self-doubt.
We doubt our worth.
We doubt our beauty.
We doubt our strength.
We doubt our purpose.
We doubt our choices.
Doubt and dissatisfaction are like oily fingerprints on a new pair of glasses. They make the image blurry and accurate sight becomes all but impossible.
The truth is, we don’t see ourselves the same way others see us. We and our peers see two completely different people when we look at ourselves. I think it’s important to realize that what we see in the mirror and what others see when they look at us are not the same.
But how do we change?
The answer isn’t easy. It’s something I still struggle with on a daily basis.
There is only one way to see ourselves the way we should and that is to take off our glasses smudged with dirt, grim, and self-hate. We need to toss that pair of glasses in the nearest trash bin. And instead, we need to trust the sight of the One who created us, the one who sees all the ugly parts of us and still calls us beautiful.
You are absolutely beautiful, my darling;
there is no imperfection in you.
Song of Songs 4:7 (CSB)
If you are a Christian then you believe that Jesus loves you enough to die for you. It is in this story of redemption that we can find our new pair of glasses. Our God-glasses. We strive to be “good Christians” but we can’t. We will inevitably make mistakes. We will break God’s heart. BUT because of what Jesus did for us God only sees love and beauty. He sees Jesus. This doesn’t mean we stop trying to live right, it means there is grace for when we mess up.
If you are not a Christian and I just got way too preachy then I hear you. Maybe you’ve never heard this before. Maybe you think it’s beautiful, maybe you are turned off by it. But wouldn’t we all like to see ourselves through a different lens? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to look at our bodies and see beauty instead of imperfection?
There is a beautiful song I come back to over and over again in my life.
For it was you who created my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb . . .
My bones were not hidden from you
when I was made in secret,
when I was formed in the depths
of the earth.
Your eyes saw me when I was formless . . .
Psalms 139:13, 15-16a
What if we were created? Wouldn’t that mean that we are beautiful the way we are? If you find it hard to believe this, I get it, I struggle too. How could someone love me? There is darkness in my heart that nobody but me can see. Yet I am beautiful?
If the talk of God is still turning you off then maybe consider your mother. What do you think her first thought was when you were placed on her chest? I doubt it was that you were ugly. I bet she thought you were a beautiful miracle. How tragic for her to–years later–see you dislike the body she could find no flaw in the day you were born.
The problem with throwing away our distorted glasses is that we continually go back to the trash bin where we left them and pick them up again. We like dirty lenses. We find comfort in seeing ourselves as ugly. We don’t want to see beauty because deep in our hearts we don’t believe it could be possible.
But it is. Girl, I’m talking to myself here too. I STRUGGLE with this. I am so good at getting those dirty glasses out of the trash. But I want to be better. I want to see clearly.
Maybe the first step for us today is to try on a new pair of glasses. When we look in the mirror today let us try a new look. Let’s try to see ourselves through the eyes of one who loves us. Maybe God, your mother, a friend, or your husband. What do you think you’ll see if you try on their glasses instead of your own?
I have a feeling the sight will be clearer.