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Girls of our generation are sometimes afraid to admit that they struggle with depression but a lot of us do. Depression is something all of us will probably experience at some point in our lives. Sometimes it’s clinical and other times it’s the result of a life event. In the past, I’ve struggled with anorexia, self-harm, and depression. In the current years of my life, it has been depression. I wrote this (over several days) because I want you to know that you are not alone and give you a few tips on how I make it through my hard days in hopes that they can help you too…

By the time you read this, I may not be struggling, but I want to get some of this down for you before the ickiness passes. By the time you read this I’ll hopefully have been able to write something you can relate to and I’m sure it will not all be written in one sitting. I need to get my butt to bed. I’m sitting at my computer at 9:33 on a Monday night, TIRED. Today I’ve felt like the sloth on Zootopia, moving through my day as though the weight of water pulls at my limbs.

This is what depression typically feels like for me, slow, tired, and unmotivated. I want to cry, sleep, or take a walk for fresh air. I HATE these days. Especially when I have to work because I don’t feel like myself. I thought about how crappy I felt as I took a shower this evening and I thought,

I don’t think I did so bad today handling my depression. I wonder if there are any tidbits I could share with other girls who are struggling too.

I know I’m not the only one who sometimes feels broken. I’m not the only one who struggles. Maybe you’ve been where I’ve been. Below are a few things for me to remind myself of, and maybe you too, to help us through the hard days.

1. Remind yourself that this is just one day.

My depression comes in waves. Sometimes it fluctuates with my “time of the month” or when changes are made with my medications. Other times I just feel depressed for no reason. But each season of depression is met with a season of lightness, an easing of the darkness where I feel like myself again. On the hard days, remember that you WILL have lighter days again. There WILL be smiles and joy and a lift of the sluggish burden of depression. Take care of yourself on the depressing days so you can live a beautiful life when you feel like yourself.

2. Listen to yourself.

Instead of going to the gym after work today (I LITERALLY did not have the energy) I went for a nice walk instead. If I hadn’t felt up to that I would have skipped that as well. I also made myself chocolate chip cookies. Mason and I sat on the couch, ate cookies, and watched Hulu. This is what listening to myself looks like. I don’t force myself to go to the gym or do things I know my body struggling with depression cannot do. Instead, I try to practice what some might call self-care, and be kind to myself. This will look different for each of us but I think it’s important we listen to our needs. This doesn’t mean succumbing to depression entirely, but rather, doing little things that help me get through the day. If I didn’t have to work I’d have taken a nap too. Good thing bed is just around the corner.

3. Know that It’s okay not to be okay.

I often get down on myself if I am having an “off” day, an unproductive day. Frustrated, I berate myself for not being able to do the things I normally do or be as productive I am when I am not struggling with depression. But you know what? It’s okay to have an off day, it’s okay to not be okay. You are NOT the only one. There are girls like me, and probably girls in your own circle, who also fight through these days. It’s okay to not be okay. If you need help on these days, please ask for it. Reach out to a friend, family member, or professional to help you get through it. There are other people in our lives for a reason, we don’t have to do this alone.

4. Know that you are strong even when you don’t feel strong.

Girl, on days when I’m struggling I do not feel strong at all. I feel lazy, tired, and weak. Strong is not a word I would use to describe myself. But on the other side I can see my strength. I think, how did I work eight hours that day? How was I strong enough to get through the day? There is strength inside of us. Strength inside of YOU. You are stronger than you think and when you don’t feel strong, lean on someone who is. Or if you’re like me, you also lean on God.

5. Recognize that you’ve made it through this before and you can do it again.

Sure, it sucks right now and I’m frustrated with myself when I struggle with depression but my low days are met with high days. Like I said above, this doesn’t last forever. It’s just one day, one hour, minute, or second. Life WILL get better and you WILL feel like yourself again. Think of all the times you’ve struggled before and how you made it through. This is just one day. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and know that you are NOT alone.