Your weight is the least interesting thing about you…
Author Unknown
How much as your life changed in three and a half years? Have you moved? Had your heart broken? Met a new love? Gotten married? Had a baby?
In three years I’ve been to San Francisco and seen the Golden Gate Bridge. I’ve watched my niece being born in a hospital in Northern Michigan. I’ve watched the sunset over the Gulf of Mexico in Florida. I’ve been stranded with car trouble in Albuquerque New Mexico and also seen the world from the Yellowstone Valley.
The last three years of my life have been unpredictable, but several things have stayed steady. One of them is my weight.
Not my actual weight, but my knowledge of my weight.
After being a slave to the scale for almost ten years in eating disorder recovery I made a decision in 2016 that is still affecting me today.
I don’t know what I weigh.
I started this weightless journey in 2016 when I bruised my knee trying to pop the battery out of the electronic scale my husband and I shared. I had to stick my fingernail under that stubborn battery and pop that disk out. The first few doctors’ appointments were awkward as I–a healthy twenty-something–opted to stand on the scale backward. The first time I did this my heart nearly beat out of my chest I was so nervous. I was scared to see the number and I was scared not to. I was afraid of what the nurses would think of my standing with my back to the numbers.
Who does that?
But I soldiered on and I have found much freedom in not knowing my weight.
Before I decided to leave the number behind I would base my worth on the digits I saw on the scale. I would use the numbers to determine what I would allow and not allow myself to eat. I let a number have a say in if I ate my favorite dessert. I would weigh myself before a run and then after my run.
I once had a friend admit to me that the scale “kept her honest” and my heart broke for her. Scales can be good for determining our mass on the earth, but they cannot and should not determine what we are worth or what lens we should see ourselves from.
Maybe the idea of living without the number is appealing but scary. How can you achieve this freedom? Below are a few practical tips to help you along your journey.
Tip 1: Get Rid of the Scale
Ditching the scale was hard for me because my hubby was not on board. Initially, this meant that he had to hide the scale. Sometimes I was tempted to find it. When I had urges I pushed the idea from my mind. Now, he keeps the scale in the second bathroom and I avoid it. Have I been tempted? Yes. It’s been over three years! I’m curious! But I’ve stayed steadfast and off the scale.
Tip 2: Learn to Listen to Your Body
When we learn to listen to our body cues we don’t have to rely on a number to tell us when we are hungry or what type of food we can eat. This has been huge for me. Sometimes I have to actively engage my mind to determine what I’m thinking.
Do I want a spoonful of peanut butter? What cues am I feeling? Hunger? Fullness? Am I satisfied?
Learning to listen to my body has been a huge stride in believing in myself and not focusing on a number.
Tip 3: Examine the Attributes of Yourself that You are Most Proud of
Before you can separate your worth from your weight you have to build a foundation on which to grow your self-image. If you take away your fixation on weight, who are you? You must build up your self worth before so that you have something to stand on when you remove the scale.
WHO are you?
Examine the parts of you that have nothing to do with appearance. Are you a great listener, encourage or mentor? Do you have a skill that you are proud of? What do others see in you that they love? What about you attracts them to you that has nothing to do with how you look or your weight?
Focus on these things. Build the foundation of self-worth so that you can stand tall when the scale is gone.
Don’t Forget Who You Are
I’m all about the three pillars of health. A healthy body, mind, and soul. To successfully separate your worth from the number on a scale you must feed your mind and soul as well as your body. Part of this is remembering that you are a beautiful child of God. You are more than your body. You have a soul that deserves to be fed and loved.
Your identity should not come from what you look like but WHO you are. Move past the physical and recognize yourself as a girl with a body, mind & soul. You are more than just a body.
You are more than a number.
You are more.